Alexis here.  In my last blog post “Falling in Love” I mentioned that one of the things I began doing to experience more self love was to practice yoga.

I recently attended a yoga class that was far more challenging than I had previously experienced.  I found myself getting bogged down with all the things that I simply could not do.  I feared that the yoga instructor was going to think that I was not trying. I feared others would be distracted by me.  I was flustered and felt confused and out of place and distracted.  I felt caught in the middle of a downward spiral of self doubt and unrealistic expectations.   I was feeling quite the opposite of in love with myself.  Have you ever felt that way as you stepped out of your comfort zone?

I have come to learn (although I often need to remind myself) that when I am in the middle of that vortex of negative thought, it is because my mind is working over time.  When we give all the power to our thoughts, and forget about the wisdom of our hearts and the power of our body, overwhelm sets in.

When I remembered the purpose of my yoga practice (to rest my mind and strengthen my body) I was able to quietmy thoughts and accomplish exactly what I set out to do.  My body took over and eased itself into the exact version of each pose  it is capable of. I did not need to decide if it was “good enough”.  The truth is, it was better than my mind could have ever created it being.  No, I did not miraculously develop the ability to stand on my head, but the deeper connection to the experience of yoga that unfolded felt like nothing short of a miracle.

So the next time you are feeling overwhelmed or out of place or flustered or confused – take a moment to get out of your head and into your heart. My guess is that there you will find out what you know to be true and what you want to create.  And if your mind still wants to run the show, here are some powerful questions to steer it in the right direction : What was my intention in taking on this challenge?  How can I be more in alignment with that purpose? What am I learning RIGHT NOW? Isn’t life wonderful?

And SPEAKING OF YOGA!!!!!  Join Aisha & I for Power of Movement – Sunday March 4 – a yoga event to raise funds for arthritis research!  A perfect place to practice quieting your mind and empowering your body with like-minded people – for a great cause!  What more could you ask for!?  Join our team, or if you are unable to attend the event, but would like to make a contribution  click here.  We look forward to seeing you there!

Alexis Martin is a professional coach trained at The Coaches Training Institute in Co-Active Coaching.  She is an intuitive and positive coach, specializing in co-active coaching, positive psychology and getting to the “heart” of things. Her coaching passion is to “ignite your love affair with your life” To book an intro session with Alexis contact her at coaching@alfalifecoaching.ca

www.alfalifecoaching.ca

When I was a child my parents instilled in me that manners were an important way to show respect, appreciation and gratitude. I remember always saying my “Please” and “Thank You’s” even as a young tot and people truly loved it!

Recently I’ve realized that manners are a lost art to some extent and especially when it comes to ourselves. When was the last time you thanked yourself? It may sound silly at first, but think about this: we strive to show the people around us how much we appreciate them so they will be loving, loyal, kind and joyous. Where are we in that equation? When do we make the effort to ensure that we feel appreciated, loved and joyous?

No one responds well to negativity. You can imagine how hard it would be to love someone who was constantly saying meana things to you, under-valuing you and chipping away at your self-esteem. Well newsflash: we do this to ourselves all the time!

Did you know that 97% of our self talk is NEGATIVE!?!? Isn’t that an insane stat? When I heard it I was skeptical, as I’m a pretty positive person, so I decided to keep track one day. What I noticed was that when I had thoughts about other people they tended to be extremely positive, but when I had thoughts about myself they almost always had a turn to the negative.

I would doubt my ability, criticize my choices, regret and over think my decisions! It was like an abusive relationship with myself! So I made a conscious effort to infuse my self-talk with positivity and gratitude. I started thanking myself for having the courage to try new things, for being so forgiving of myself and others, for having such unique and fun personality characteristics and you know what?! I started to find an even deeper self love that has supported me through challenging times and helped me celebrate great times even more.

Suddenly I realized just how a simple a “Thank You” can be on the inside! So take a minute to spread some internal love today! Identify how you are grateful to yourself and say “Thanks! Merci! Arigato! Gracias!” to your best friend, supporter and truest love—yourself!

Aisha Alfa, BA (Psych), CPC

Comedian-Host-Speaker-Coach

www.alfalifecoaching.ca

www.aishaalfa.com

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day I wanted to share with you a message that has been on my heart for quite some time…here we go!

I have a confession to make.  I spent most of my life believing that it was impossible for ANYONE to truly love them selves – crazy, right?

I had my logic though. I mean, I saw all of my own flaws, my own weaknesses. I remembered each time I had felt rejected, or not enough, every time I had missed the mark, misspoke, misunderstood, messed up.   I had done a wonderful job of making these unlovable pieces of myself acceptable to the world. I had tricked a few people into loving me, but I could not possibly love myself. I knew the truth.  It was safe to assume this was true for the rest of the world.

This idea was as true to me as the fact that the sky is blue. I never questioned it.  Love was a fragile thing that could easily vanish. Being loved rested fully in the hands of others, dependent on their impression of me.  The only time this belief reared its ugly head in a way that I did not know how to handle was when I would see the undeniable magnificence of others.  Deep sadness would overwhelm me as I thought– they will never know, never understand, never see what is so OBVIOUS to me. Tragic. It was a heavy burden.

And then as a result of some powerful coaching ……I decided to love myself.  

Once I realized that I had created the original belief, it became very clear to me that I was just as capable of creating – and proving – a new truth.  So I decided to love myself. I began creating evidence that it was true.   I treated myself with love.  I practiced seeing myself through the eyes of someone who was IN LOVE with ME.  I took myself out on dates.  I listened to my own thoughts and wisdom.  I went to the gym.  I took time in the morning to look into my own eyes and smile.  I began to heal, and suddenly I was even more loving and open to being truly loved.

Spend some time thinking about the last time you fell in love.  That deep, all consuming, intoxicating, seemingly uncontrollable feeling of being absorbed in the wonder of another person. Ahhhhhh.  I smile just thinking about it.  Suddenly the world seems brighter, the air is fresher, life is a million times more exciting, there is so much to look forward to, so much to delightedly dream about.  Wouldn’t life be delectable if we could store that experience and have a daily dose?

What if we can?  Choose to love yourself TODAY!

I would LOVE to hear what you have to say about your own journey with self love and what loving yourself means to you.  Please post below and share all things self love!   Perhaps you would like to declare what you are willing to commit to in regards to your own self love – inspire others! Let’s talk!

Alexis Martin

Alexis Martin is a professional coach trained at The Coaches Training Institute in Co-Active Coaching. She is the newest addition to the Alfa Life Coaching team. She is a brilliant and positive coach, specializing in co-active coaching, positive psychology and getting to the “heart” of things. Her coaching passion is to “ignite your love affair with your life” To book an intro session with Alexis contact her at coaching@alfalifecoaching.ca

There has been a lot of excited hubbub at Alfa Life Coaching over the last few weeks as Aisha prepares for her TEDxTalk. It’s happening today…right now Get the Live Stream HERE.

Imagine a place where all of the world’s most brilliant, cutting edge, interesting and powerful ideas where collected.  Wouldn’t that be a wonderful, inspiring place to explore?  Drumroll please……..Introducing TED.com! Based on a “passionate belief that ideas have the power to change attitudes, lives and ultimately the world” TED is a “clearinghouse that offers free knowledge and inspiration from the world’s most inspired thinkers, and also a community of curious souls to engage with ideas and each other”.

Wow! This inspiredme, so I decided to take some time to really explore the vision behind TED’s slogan  “ideas worth spreading”!

As human beings we are naturally creative.  If you think about it virtually everything you touch, see and use in a day is and was the creative inspiration of another individual.  How magnificent is that?  What TED has created is a way for new ideas to become realities to more people in a sustainable way, faster. So, become part of the discussion! Be a part of the “community of curious souls”!

This blog is starting to feel a bit like an advertisement for TED – but it is a concept that truly excites me!  Every time I watch a TED talk I feel as though I have visited the Metropolitan Museum of Powerful Thought.  For me one of THE best ways to get my creative mind working is to listen to and be inspired by the creativity of others. I feel deeply curious and inspired to take action. Curiosity is a powerful place to be to let the creative juices flow! So with that in mind, my question to you is….

WHAT IS YOUR BIG IDEA?

When do you feel most passionate, most creative? How do you get your creative juices following? Where do you feel it is time for a revolution?  Share your brilliance with the world! Start by posting it below! Let’s start our own clearinghouse for inspiration within the Alfa Life Coaching circle.  Please share with us how you get into the”creativity zone” or an idea you have that you’d love to get some more inspiration around.  We want to KNOW!

And before this blog is over let’s take a moment to celebrate WINNIPEG hosting a TEDx Event and AISHA – one of the world’s most inspired thinkers!!!  You are not going to want to miss this TALK!!!  [insert confetti falling and live band playing here].

Get INSPIRED!

Live with NO REGRETS!

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last 3 to 12 weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

This post was originally published on Inspiration and Chai.

Bronnie Ware is a writer and songwriter from Australia who spent several years caring for dying people in their homes. She has recently released a full-length book titled ‘The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing’. It is a memoir of her own life and how it was transformed through the regrets of the dying people she cared for. For more information, please visit Bronnie’s official website at www.bronnieware.com or her blog at www.inspirationandchai.com.

Peace You Man!

The other day I was driving home and I pulled into traffic from a tricky corner….you know the ones where you can’t see anyone because of parked cars….and the only way to see if the coast is clear is to pull out and basically get into traffic! So you can see the catch 22 of the situation!

I thought the coast was clear after much waiting and pulled out only to realize there was indeed someone coming at full speed. “No biggie, I just accidentally cut someone off,” I thought, “I’ll just give an enthusiastic wave and sorry and all is well in the driving universe again!”

The man who I had cut off drove by and I mouthed “SO SORRY!!!” while waving and in return I got back and angry face, the middle finger and some cursing (if I can read lips properly).

It took me a moment to regain my composure as I felt like I had just been smacked in the face for making a mistake. I thought, certainly this man has at some point in his driving career also accidentally cut someone off, how can he be so angry at me for doing the same thing when it was so clearly an accident.

That’s when it sunk in…he’s not angry at me. He’s finding any small opportunity to take a second chance at releasing energy, emotion, anger, frustration and disappointment! Being annoyed or angry when someone cuts you off is a normal reaction, but when they apologetic and you still take the time to push negative energy their way it goes above and beyond. Surely he didn’t think I cut him off on purpose or because I had something against him!! This guy could really use a re-set button!

So when I inevitably drove past him in the run of traffic I simply thought peaceful and happy thoughts at him to help him have a better afternoon. And that’s when I decided to make a point of smothering road rage with peace and happiness!!!

So from now on, when someone gives me the finger I will give them back two….my index and my middle to make the sign for PEACE!!  Join the tiny road revolution and say an enthusiastic “PEACE YOU!!” to anyone who cuts you off, “PEACE YOU!” to the person who almost swerves into you because they are chatting on their cell phone, “PEACE YOU!” to the parking attendant who gave you the ticket even though you were just in dropping something off and couldn’t have been parked in the loading zone for more than 5 mins seriously!!!

To avoid being filled with road rage, start this year off with a Kick-Start Package from Alfa Life Coaching and get rid of any lingering anger, frustration and negativity from 2011! Start 2012 from a place of positivity, possibility and peace!

PEACE YOU my friends and hope to see some happier drivers this season!

Aisha Alfa, BA (Psych), CPC

Owner, Certified Professional Coach

aisha@alfalifecoaching.ca

Will you be successful with your New Year's Resolutions in 2012?

By Alexis Martin of Alfa Life Coaching

I’ll admit it.  It had been quite a few years since I created any New Year’s Resolutions. Commonly my New Year’s resolutions had been created through the lense of “Ways which I will not screw up like I did last year”.  Not very inspiring is it?  No wonder they were often abandoned by January 15^th.

When you think about the changes you have resolved to make in 2012 how do you feel?

Does it excite you?  Inspire you? Delight you? When you picture it does it make you smile, make your heart skip a beat, brighten your day with the thought of what is possible within this new, fresh calendar year?  Does it make you feel lighter, capable, strong and powerful?

It should. J

So for the sake of starting the New Year off right, try this out.  Pick one.  Pick your favorite one or the one that seems the most challenging, or the one that has been on your list year after year that you have been making baby steps toward.  Or pick the one you put on there just because you thought you should. Got it?  Good.

I hope it is a juicy one.

Now take time to imagine yourself mastering this resolution. I don’t mean the step by step ways you are going to accomplish this task or change. I don’t mean picture yourself being better at it.  I mean MASTERING IT.  You are the guru of [insert inspired New Year’s Resolution here]. By some miracle you woke up January 1 2012 and this one thing has become so easy and naturally part of your life and way of being that it feels as simple and natural as breathing.

Wow, right?

What is possible when this is going perfectly and it doesn’t feel hard?

My guess is what you are seeing and thinking and experiencing are all the reasons why this resolution matters.   Write it down. Claim it for yourself. And while you are at it contact us and claim your very own Kickstart coaching package to LOCK IT IN!

Too often we make decisions and set goals motivated by what we are trying to get away from, rather than what we want to get to. The ironic thing about that is the better we get at accomplishing what we set out to do, the further we have gotten from our motivation! If you are propelled by where you are going, even the smallest amount of success will build your momentum and continue to carry you forward.

What happens to your New Years resolutions when you write them from the perspective of “Ways in which 2012 is going to be the best year yet?”

So?  Spill the beans!  What have you resolved to do differently in 2012?  Have you come up with something super duper juicy and delicious that you just can’t wait to get started?  Want some extra help, accountability and motivation?  Talk to Alfa Life Coaching about our Kickstart package!  Still feeling kinda blah and not sure 2012 is going to be your year to create powerful positive change?  Talk to Alfa Life Coaching about our Kickstart Package! Are you still reading this?  Talk to Alfa Life Coaching about our Kickstart Package!  Got a lilke minded group of friends that are looking for some added inspiration and magic? Talk to Alfa Life coaching about our Group Offerings! Let’s make 2012 a year full of juicy deliciousness!

Alexis Martin of Alfa Life Coaching

I felt like a celebrity this past week as I was nominated for two completely different awards from the different areas of my work and personality.

1) Best Actress at UofW 9th Annual Film Festival for my role as Anna in “Stalled” by Ian Bawa and Markus Henkle

https://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=batch_download&batch_id=VnBwQndOWkJOMUJFQlE9PQ

2) Nominated for a Woman of Distinction Award for Wellness, Healthy Living & Recreation. http://www.ywinnipeg.ca/wod.html

What an absolute honour it was to be nominated for both these awards, and for such different reasons. Often people will question whether having 3 distinct professional paths (as I do) is wise. To them I say, “to each their own”!

I can completely understand that there are people who flourish in an environment where there is one goal and one goal only! Their whole life revolves around achieving that goal until it’s done and then they move onto the next one.

During the years being a varsity and semi-professional athlete in soccer, my whole focus in life was winning a Championship. Everything I did (professionally, financially, physically, socially etc) was aimed at bringing me closer to that goal.

Things have shifted for me as I’ve moved forward and I have taken opportunities to succeed in multiple streams that are all a huge part of my personality and life.

I have a thriving coaching practice (www.alfalifecoaching.ca), a career in acting/hosting (www.winnipegfreepress.com/wfptv) and a comedy career that has begun to blossom (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrnuDN7MZUU)

This past Wednesday night at the 2011 YM/WCA Woman of Distinction Awards ceremony Jennifer Botterill talked about her decision to try out (and  earn a spot) on the 1997 Canadian Women’s Hockey National Team.

With the guidance of her father, Cal Botterill (a renown sport psychologist) she asked herself, “Why not me?” and began down a path that would, 14 years later, see her being the youngest (18yrs) on the Olympic hockey squad of 1998, earning an Olympic Silver Medal and three (I repeat THREE) Olympic Gold Medals and inspiring female athletes around the country.

I have often responded to outside criticism of my (apparent) multiple streams with a similar question– “Why Can’t I?”

What stops me from excelling at comedy, acting and coaching? What stops me from melding all three together to be the best at coachcomacting (that’s a mash up of all the words….clever no?!?! Haha)

And the answer my friends is……(drum roll please…..seriously this is gonna rock your worlds)……there’s nothing stopping me! The only thing stopping me from excelling in my “three-become-one” goals is my own fears, my own doubts, my own willingness to accept other’s skepticism.

So instead of listening to the criticism, fears and doubts of everyone else that make things more complicated than need be,  I have simplified things and just decided to go forward with the things I love in life and make brilliance happen with the energy, life and inspiration I was given!

I love life and I succeed at it by pursuing what gives me joy, what makes me laugh, what interests me.

Pursuing my dreams…..A pretty heavy CHECK on the 101 List,  and one I am most proud of!

Share your thoughts with me below!

Thanks for stopping in and have an amazing day!

Aisha

On March 6th, 2011 my friend Andrew and I went out to FortWhyte (www.fortwhyte.org) and rented showshoes for a day to check off one of the things on my 101 in 2011 list.  It was chilly, windy and the snow conditions were (apparently) not so good! But we didn’t let that stop us on our mission to have fun!

Here is a video clip from the adventure and one BIG check mark on the list!

We really worked our abs all day laughing way as we almost tumbled down hills and explored the wilderness!

YAY!! Click the link below and let me know what you think!

101 Things in 2011: Snowshoeing

Early this year I decided to make a list of thing to accomplish in 2011 to keep me motivated, excited and challenged. A friend of mine helped me add to the list and I decided to try and get

101 Things to Accomplish in 2011

I have decided that blogging and vlogging (video blogging) about my experience would be a fun thing for me and for others. I have also decided to posts my list so far and encourage anyone and everyone to make suggestions on what I should add to the list.

So here are the first 10 things on the list (* indicates I’ve completed it):

1)      Make French Onion Soup from Scratch*

2)      Learn to Play the Ukulele*

3)      Go snowshoeing*

4)      Go rock climbing (on a wall and on a real rock!!)

5)      Run a ½ Marathon *(started training for it)

6)      Participate in Comedy Loser at the Kingshead Pub*

7)      Audition for Rainbow Stage*(hahah this was a disaster!!)

8)      Take up Painting*

9)      Be in a Fringe Festival Production* (well Fringe hasn’t happened yet, but I’m in one)

10)  Do Comedy Somewhere Outside of Winnipeg* (San Diego and Glenboro, MB both done!)

I’m pretty proud of my list so far and have begun crafting the next 10 for the list. Let me know your thoughts and suggestions please! Also check back for videos and photos from #1-10.

11)  Start a Fire Without Matches or a Lighter

12)  Do CPR/First Aid Training

13)  Learn how to Knit

14)  Write an e-book

15)  Meditate Every morning and night for a week straight

16)

17)

18)

19)

20)

Looking forward to your suggestions and thoughts!!!

-Aisha